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The Hyper Mega Galley with Returning Double Hook

20 January 2012 141 views No Comment

The Hyper Mega Galley with Returning Double Hook — by Roger Foster

One day when just a little lad of maybe three or four
My mother hugged me close and said ‘Your Dad can’t walk no more’
He ‘d gone out Morris dancing but the call he had mistook
For a hyper mega galley with returning double hook.


They gagged the press and blocked the news and not a word was said
“Bout this horrifying figure which disfigured my poor Dad
I thought no more about it so recovered from the shock
Of this hyper mega galley with returning double hook


In Iraq they’re seeking weapons , the UN searching every day
Since these weapons of destruction would explain their war away
There were rumours of this weapon, the most lethal in the book
Called a hyper mega galley with returning double hook


And you know the Mars Explorer which went, logically, to Mars
It had logged some dancing static when it reported last
And a recent probe showed evidence in photographs it took
Of a hyper mega galley with returning double hook


I thought no more about it and `gained daughter, wife and son
And then I joined a Morris side to show them how it’s done
Then tragic news from Thaxted, which we thought at first a joke,
Of a hyper mega galley with returning double hook.


So I traveled down to Thaxted with the squire, bag and fool
We drove all the day and half the night to our billet at the school
We’d done all the other figures so we thought we’d take a look
At this hyper mega galley with returning double hook


Well the scene was devastation, shoes were hanging up in trees
There were bodies scattered everywhere with bruised and bloodied knees
The half the side who hadn’t died were looking pretty crook
From a hyper mega galley with returning double hook


One old-timer lying there then stirred and raised his head
With weary sighs and teary eyes he hesitantly said
“Worst thing I’ve seen and done since fighting Rommel in Tobruk
Was this hyper mega galley with returning double hook”


There’s a twisting rocking action, like an epileptic fit
And a backward sideways movement somewhere near the end of it
But the bit before the middle when you’re strutting like a chook
Marks the hyper mega galley with returning double hook


“We’d only started in the High street with a simple little dance
Then some larrikin called this figure, almost purely by chance
Mayhem then ensued despite precautions that we took
To curb our hyper mega galley with returning double hook


We ‘d picked our slowest music and we’d weighed our boots with lead
We’d put more starch in our hankies and a helmet on our head
We strapped our knees together, but even so we ran amok
In the hyper mega galley with returning double hook


The first step of the galley brought us downhill from The Swan
Dashing hard against the Guild House, we brought half the arches down
The landlord barred The Star because one thing he wouldn’t brook
Was our hyper mega galley with returning double hook


So we galleyed through the Mill End, hands were clasped to prevent harm
But the savage return hooking left me holding half an arm
I decided then to bail although I don’t think I’m a sook,
From this hyper mega galley with returning double hook


I quizzed him on this figure to which he had referred
To allow us to warn others just in case it should recur
But his head had fallen backwards, eyes in death had now that look
Of a stroke victim…………………………
Or a hyper mega galley with returning double hook

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